"Pass me the rock, I am open..."

... unfortunately does not fall under the list of words I know; however, I did "join" a woman's basketball team here in Schwarwald. I use the word join loosely, what I really mean is that on Sundays when I have off I play with a team here. I normally can't make their practices during the week because of my internship, but I normally always have Sundays free. (I actually don't pay for the league because I can only make about three games, so they lie and pretend I am another girl who did pay but got injured... their idea, not mine)

I found out about the league through a friend at work. His 19 year old sister plays and invited me to join her once. Basketball in German isn't that popular or big. The girls have all really only been playing for a couple of years. Definitely a major adjustment from what I am used to, but I am having a ton of fun. I am also pretty sure that referees here don't really know what constitutes a foul.

My team isn't very good, but that is okay. I do not really care if we win or lose, I am just having a ton of fun trying new things and putting myself out there. Despite how hard it is to do this whole Germany thing on my own, I am super thankful for the opportunities to have a legitimate "German experience." I haven't actually seen an American since January 16th... weird, but I love the chance to hang out with all Germans and truly get to experience what life here is like.

Frustriert.

I know I have not blogged in awhile, but I think that is a good sign? More things to do? Settling in? Also, my days are all very similar and I have not had much to report lately.

It is really strange for me to think that I am just about six full weeks into my 26 week experience. The first month was that weird combination of time flying by, yet at the same time feeling like I had been here forever. However, I feel the sixth week has really brought up my frustration with the German language. German is hard and dumb (well just kidding about the dumb part). German is listed as level three difficulty (1 = the language you learn as a child, 2 = romantic languages, 5 = Mandarin) and I am just so frustrated with verbs, conjunctive, gender, all that goodness that you really need a textbook for to truly say right.

I guess I am at the stage where I no longer feel overwhelmed. I have been here for long enough that I am comfortable with the friends I have made. I want to be able to discuss things and talk about stuff beyond what I have been learning the last six years. I feel like my language acquisition (or lack there of) is just taking too long. I guess I just thought it would always "just happen." So many people said, yeah one day you'll just realize that you get it.

Well, when?!

Who has done this before? At what point does it click? My friends and co-workers say my German gets better every day and has drastically improved. But then again, they are some of the nicest people I have ever met so maybe they are just trying to be nice. Or maybe it is improving and it is just really hard for me to see myself. Maybe I am too critical and have been part of the "UVA you need perfection always" atmosphere for too long (although I feel like I have escaped that mentality for the most part).

I have started reading Harry Potter in German (specifically Happy Potter und der Feuerkelch... the best book) to help. I guess I am just impatient... and very worried about classes beginning on April 4th. For those who don't know I am not doing a semester program like many American students do. I enrolled directly into a university as an exchange student. I will be there on my own. I will not be taking language classes, but rather comparative lit classes or history classes or whatever I choose.

Terrifying.

Sorry this post is such a Debby Downer post. Other than frustration with language (and the snow that returned) all else is great. My job continues to be fun. The people I work with continue to pour into me. I have things to do about every other night. Bryan is coming in six days and my Grandparents in three and a half weeks. All is well here, just wishing I was fluent...

This girl is blessed.

The past couple of weeks I have felt so much love being sent my way. Both from the US and here in Germany, and today I realized just how blessed I am.

I mean, I am already here in Germany, having an amazing time and experiencing a once in a life time opportunity. What more could I ask for? Yet, it is funny, how God goes above and beyond meeting your basic needs. He loves to love.

Today I received a package from Bryan for Valentine’s Day. I knew something was coming, but I had no idea what was going to be inside. Bryan decided to give everyone else at UVA a chance to love me as well, and I received a box full of letters and gifts from housemates, friends, and girls in my Bible study. I almost started crying in the kitchen when I realized what was inside. [Don’t worry, Mom, not in the homesick way, but in the oh my goodness way.] What an incredible reflection of God’s love. What a great reminder of all the people thinking and praying for me.

To all those who read this, thank you. I am not sure why you do; we all know I am not the best story teller or writer, but again it is just great to know that you care. Today, I am just so thankful that I am exactly where I am and I have people in my life who are so good at loving me.

Fasching

Fasching is Germany's Mardi Gras. It begins on dirty Thursday (Schmuztige Donnerstag), the Thursday before Ash Wednesday, but the festival season can begin as early as January and start dates vary from city to city. Yesterday on my day off, Kristina and I went to watch an opening parade in a nearby city.

I would have to say that it was probably one of my first, if not my first "typisch Deutsch" experiences. There are several things you should be prepared for when attending Germany festivals...

1. It appears as if there is little concern for safety. The festival started with "boat races." A stream ran through the city of Schramberg. A very little (no more than 6 feets wide and 2 feet deep) but very fast moving stream. The objective of this race is for very drunk Germans to sit in handmade rafts/floats in ridiculous costumes and try and float down the stream without falling into the stream. Kristina said over half of them will flip. Also, bystanders are allowed to stand right on the bank, getting soaked, and often "falling" into the action.

2. American's pass out candy along parade routes. Germans pass out some candy, but find it better to toss pretzels and wurst into the crowd.

3. If you have a beer or cola in your hand it will be consumed by those in the parade.

4. Audience participation is completely mandatory. Do not try to resist. (Learned from a mistake... to be honest I didn't really understand what the masked man was asking me, but before I knew it I was picked up and carried into the parade for a good thirty or forty feet before we "fought" and he let me go back to an amused Kristina.)

5. Expect to be terrified. Every person in the parade is dressed in an extremely elaborate costume (costing between 1,000 and 2,000 Euros) that include hand carved masks, real hair, stuffed once-live animals, and real fur. The masks are horrifying and can range from anywhere to a sad clown face, to a cat (I have pictures, Emily), witch, baby, etc. Often members of the parade will sneak into the crowd behind the bystanders and come up behind you. You try and imagine being tapped on the shoulder and turning around to someone in a  very realistic witch costume.

6. The "balloons" they carry on poles to smack the crowd with are actually cow and pig stomachs. NOT JOKING. DISGUSTING.

7. If you accidently stand in front of a small child, the German mother will yell at you.

8. It will take place at an extremely, pictersque, German town nestled in a valley.

9. When they yell German words at you there are responses you are supposed to know to say back. If you don't know them just say something that sounds German and you will be fine.

10. You will have a lot of fun.


Pictures to follow soon.

I cannot remember the last time I had this much control over my time and energy…

I have taken to running, running a lot. It seems as if spring has come early to the Black Forest and I can’t help but enjoy it. Last Monday I ran out of necessity. Bored and lonely on my day off I could not stand to be in my room all day. I continued to run every day this week because of the way it makes me feel  - the pain, lack of breath, creation, sweat, exhaustion, everything makes me feel alive again. As I was running on Wednesday I could not help but think to myself, when was the last time I have had this much freedom? The things that I dreaded so much: loneliness, being removed from my family, my fellowship, my friends, have become the very things I delight in. I cannot remember the last time I did not have “one more thing” to do, or another friend to have coffee with, or a meeting that I could not forget about, or an email to write, or an application to fill out. Maybe it is the fact that I run every day through a new trail in the Black Forest, or the spring weather , or being here almost a month, I am not quite sure, but I feel so completely and utterly free. I am my own person here - no one to check in with, no one to report to, and nowhere to be. 

The UVA atmosphere had drained me for so long that at first I didn’t know what to do with myself, but now I realize how rare and unique this time is. It is gift from God who knows my heart better than my limited imagination could have predicted. It came at exactly the right time and I am learning so much. At first I regretted not doing a program through UVA or another university, but it is so evident in everything that goes on day after day that I am exactly where I am supposed to be, even if it is just me. 

Every day presents challenges. Today my sister turns 19 years old (HAPPY BIRTHDAY,EMILY!) and my entire family has connected in Washington D.C. – something that happens maybe four times a year (skyping into breakfast with them put me on the verge of tears for an hour following the conversation). I still worry about the excessive length of time I chose to be abroad for. I still miss people a ton. Yet, I know this is right and this is where I supposed to be. So many people crave the freedom that I get to enjoy. So I WILL enjoy it.

*I took my camera on my run with me. The pictures should be on facebook soon!

"Do not boast about tomorrow for you do not know what a day may bring." Proverbs 27:1

Let me tell you about my day. Well actually let me tell you about the last several days so you can understand today.

Everything has been great. I received news at the end of this week that Bryan is coming here for UVA Spring break in a mere 4 weeks and my grandparents will be coming for ten days just a week and a half after him. I still have 6 more weeks of an internship that I love. I went to my first German church service (quaint, super traditional, didn't understand a lot) and I had plans last night to attend an ice hockey game and then watch the superbowl at a friend's house. [sidenote: at the ice hockey game there was someone wearing a Sidney Crosby jersey... Pittsburgh fans are legitimately everywhere.]

Yet, despite all this goodness I was just not feeling great about being here. I am alone often and that was getting to me, especially with two days off looming ahead. The superbowl made me miss Pittsburgh so incredibly much (naturally I stayed up till 4 am to watch it). Skyping into the Octagon's superbowl gathering and seeing dear friends hurt. Not to mention the Packers broke my heart and I haven't been sleeping well... I was just feeling off.

But then I went outside and I was overwhelmed with creation. For the first three weeks here I literally did not see the sun; however, the last three days have been sunny and today it easily reached upper 50s.

I couldn't bear to be in my little apartment alone all day so I decided to go for a run and work off my frustration and loneliness. Amanda and I plan on running the Richmond marathon this Fall (we ran the half in 2009) and it is time to start getting back in shape, plus I wanted to explore some trails nearby. There isn't much to do when you run so I just started praying for all the things I have been missing and before I knew it I was completely overwhelmed by God's amazing goodness to me. Here I was, running through a trail in the Black Forest, in beautiful weather, completely safe, healthy, and alone. I came to a little bridge over a stream and literally just stopped there for five minutes (this wasn't entirely due to God's goodness, I am also extremely out of shape) and was still before the Lord.

"Be still and know that I am God." (Psalm 46:10).

It was beautiful. I almost cried from relief and assurance.

As I mentioned several blog posts ago I have been kicking off my mornings with some Psalms to help me get through the day. Not too long ago I came across Psalm 102:23 "In the course of my life, he broke my strength..." and it is dominating my prayers and life. A very intelligent, Abigail Hull shared some beautiful advice with me in a car ride down to UVA about studying abroad. After sharing my fears with her about not doing a program with other students from UVA or America, and going on my own and being alone, she told me about her experience abroad and said to me that of course I was going to be alone, but it was going to be so beautiful that I wouldn't want to trade it for anything.

She is so incredibly right. Every day here the Lord cuts off my strength and takes my wandering heart back to him. I am not quite sure how people study abroad without God to believe in. I wouldn't change this experience for anything.

Sometimes, I wonder if people read this blog and laugh at me. I mean, here I am in a cultural that is essentially identical to America. it is not like I left western society. I have experienced little to no cultural shock. I have been giving so much in that I have friends here and I get to spend six months in Germany. I get to do something so few others do. What could be possibly hard about this? But this experience has been incredibly eye opening and real. Maybe not to another culture or people, but most definitely to who I am as a person and what I value. It is the exact place I need to be right now as I am growing older and getting ready to make important life decisions. I am extremely grateful for where I am and will continue to thank the Lord for how good he is at loving me.

Das Essen

I sincerely believe that the mission of the chef and other cooks in the kitchen is to get me to eat and try every possible German dish they know how to make.

Clearly, I agree with this mission.

"Amy, we made you Black Forrest crepes and mixed berries."

"Amy, have you ever had real Black Forrest chocolate cake?" [which by the way I can have whenever I feel like walking into the Kuehlhaus, and trust me, it is not Black Forrest cake you order in America.]

"Amy, what do you want for dinner? We'll make you whatever."

"Amy, how do you feel about steak?"

I say yes to everything they make me and for good reason. It tastes delicious. Breakfast normally is ham and cheese on fresh bread. Lunch is small and normally just fruit from our Kuehlhaus. Then dinner is always an adventure.The other night they made me steak and then coated it in this mixture of onions, eggs, and mustard. Then you bake it. Now, I know what you are thinking... GROSS. But, trust me SO GOOODDD. Another favorite of mine is Kasespaetzle. Essenitally cheesy noodles, but twenty times better than mac'n'cheese. Shrimp with Kauterbutter on salad? German style omelets? Maultaschen? Gebacknes Eis (homemade deep fried ice cream)? Pesto, tomato, onions, noodles? Sauces to top everything off? Also, I eat some flavor of mousse almost every day.

Life is good.

Happy Birt-ay to you!

The last two nights I was invited out to the birthday parties for two different co-workers. Germany birthday parties are really really really great for essentially two reasons.

1. It is customary for the birthday-ee to pay for the tab for the night. Which of course makes absolutely no sense to me. On your birthday you buy everyone else's drinks? Absurd.

2. Germans sing "Happy Birthday." Like, the English version that we sing. And this is great for the sole reason that the "TH" sound is essentially impossible for Germans to say. It doesn't exist to them. [SIDENOTE: I am in no way making fun of German accents. I truly delight in them. And for how many times they laugh at my mispronunciations (lovingly of course) and make me read out loud in order to practice, I am totally allowed to do this.] Anyways, at midnight everyone bursts out singing "Happy Birthday" but it essentially goes "Happy birtay to ya, Happy birtay to ya..." and so on. They also play this ridiculously annoying song at midnight that essentially goes "Happy Birthday to ya. It is your birthday" over and over again. Yet, they all love it and go crazy.

Germany is fun.

Here is the facebook link for some pictures I just put up. It is a public link, you don't need to be on facebook to look through it.
Amy Goes to Germany: Praktikum

We drove the car right on to the ferry.

So yesterday I took a little day trip with two fellow workers of mine down to Konstanz. Konstanz is at the very bottom of Germany, a mere 200 meters away from Switzerland. I actually picked up Swiss service on my cell phone and instantly wanted nothing more than Sarah-Louise by my side. Konstanz is a major city off of the Bodensee (or Lake Constance for all your English speaking people), which is the largest lake in all of Germany.

It was beautiful, even despite it being -5 grad (low twenties Fahrenheit) and windy. We toured, shopped and ate at Konstanz and then we took a ferry (and our car) over to Meersburg. A town built into the side of the hill complete with a castle at the top of the hill and grape vines for wine the whole way winding down. I want to live in Meersburg I decided. It is everything a small German town built on the edge of a lake should be. Like, it is a normal day in Germany if I pass by a castle. How cool is that? Also, my German friends didn't realize that there is not a single castle in the entirety of the United States. "No, the white house is not a castle."

The weather was kind of crappy though and I can't wait to go back on a beautiful, sunny, warm day and explore the lake. Germany is super clean and the lake is crystal clear and perfect for swimming and sunbathing.